November is Diabetes Awareness Month but I just can’t get behind it this year. There’s plenty of great advocacy and causes out there — I totally support the Big Blue Test and World Diabetes Day and all the efforts to get the media to get diabetes facts right in their reporting. But this year I missed most of the November #dsma chats on Twitter, didn’t log any of my exercise (even though I did some) on the BBT, only caught about 15 minutes of the 24 hour #dsma chat for WDD, and didn’t wear blue on Fridays. I’m not proud of any of that (especially falling down on the big blue test) but here we are on November 25 and I’ve been an advocacy wasteland.
For me, November has always been more about depression than diabetes. I’m sure some of it is the short days and the rest is just my body chemistry. In the cyclical nature of my dealings with depression, the fall is often a low time. This fall I stopped being consistent taking meds and sure enough, that was good proof that the meds actually do work when I take them. I slowly became much more aware of depression just when everyone else was working to raise awareness about diabetes.
I’ve been feeling much too aware of diabetes – too frustrated over diabetes tech stuff, too tired of not seeing useful patterns in downloads, too overwhelmed with all the site changes, supplies, prescription management, doctor’s appointments, nighttime checks, exercise balancing, etc. Just exhausted by diabetes details in general. Add onto that everything that comes with depression and I just don’t have it in me to try to raise anyone else’s awareness.
I am aware of all the hard work that is going on out there in the DOC and I’m grateful for it. So, at least I’m on the right page for Thanksgiving.